The Right Coast

November 17, 2005
 
The logic of history
By Tom Smith

1. Democrats force the Republican administration to withdraw from Iraq, inflicting a humiliating defeat on them and incidentally on the US and its arms.

2. Chaos and civil war erupt in Iraq. Shiites slaughter the outnumbered Sunnis in far greater numbers than the US ever did. This slaughter is blamed on the misguided policies of the Republicans.

3. Democrats win White House in 2008. New President announces that America will never again be lied into war. Syrian entrepreneurs acquire bio and nuclear weapon technology from former Iraqi stockpiles in eastern Syria. Iran tests its first nuclear weapon, called "the wrath of Allah." Democrats blame Republican administration for having failed to take adequate steps to stop Iranian weapons program.

4. Independent Kurdistan created. Sunnis flee to refugee camps in western Iraq and Syria. Humanitarian relief is provided by the UN. Terrorist training camps set up. Terrorists acquire bioweapons technology from entrepreneurs, who are paid by Saudi associates of Al Qaida.

5. Weaponized flu virus released in five major US and European cities. In the US, FEMA coordinates the response. Democrats blame Republicans for having failed to take adequate steps to keep WMDs out of hands of terrorists.

6. But don't worry. Everything will be fine.