The Right Coast

June 09, 2005
I am a wireless God. Oh wait. No. I am in wireless hell.
By Tom Smith

I just want to say goodbye to all our loyal RC readers before I join a monastery where the most advanced technology they have is a rock. For reasons I no longer remember, I decided to install a wireless printer on the Smith wireless network. First I had to add the little wireless antennae thing to the new desktop. And lo, it actually worked! I was a wireless God. Now, to get the notebooks to talk to the printer so I could actually use its wireless capability! (For the desktop I cheated and used a USB cable.) The notebooks seemed standoffish. Various firewalls objected to this congress with the newcomer. Norton security warned me the printer was in fact a Trojan, bearing gifts. No problem. Turn that sucker off. Now the notebooks talk to the printer! Kids can print their homework from downstairs! Then, I notice, I can't seem to get to my bank website. I can't get to google news. What the &*^%? Fiddle with firewall. No change. Uninstall printer software. No change. Recheck all settings on wireless network. Nope. I give up. Call Cox internet help. They are actually very nice and prompt. But they are stumped too. Maybe the Norton security files have been corrupted. Maybe God just wants me to suffer. Five hours I have been at this. I want to kill something, many things. Still at it, all this morning. Three calls to Cox later, I take the notebook upstairs. Going to try bypassing the router, and see if I can talk to the bank then. I decide to reboot the cable modem and the router, just for the hell of it. Poof! Now everything works fine, I say, tempting fate. Something still ate the Norton program on one of the notebooks. It has turned into an empty shell in the Programs file. None of this matters, however, as we are all one, and the rock is a rock. Go in peace, little grasshopper.