The Right Coast

January 03, 2005
Those annoying scientists
By Tom Smith

Sometimes scientists are really annoying. Now they're saying the right amount to drink, to avoid strokes, is one drink, every other day. Of course, by a "drink", they mean something like one table spoon of a lite beer. Or a deep inhalation from a glass of scotch. They need to consider other factors like, what effect having only one "drink" every other day would have on your willingness to not to beat a scientist with a bag of phone books. I thought I read something about two drinks every day being the right amount for your heart, if you were a man. Women don't need to drink as much anyway. They actually like civilization. What we need is an all things considered global risk assessment of how much you can drink, up to hopefully two or three drinks a day. I can do fine on one drink a day, but what I call one drink is what most scientists call three drinks.

And don't forget this just wonderful news. You can exercise a lot, but if you're overweight, you'll still die sooner than if you exercise a lot, and are lean. The good news is, if you're lean, but don't exercise a lot, you'll die sooner as well, so there. All you slinky milinkies out there deserve what you get.