The Right Coast

November 06, 2004
Busy times
By Tom Smith

Some fans may wonder why I have been silent since the election. Well, these are very busy times. I'm one of the many volunteers gathering snakes for the great snake-handle-athon we Bush voters are having to celebrate W's election. Thousands of snakes will be necessary, not to mention the Bibles, which need to be thumped upon while we handle the snakes. And not just any snakes, but large, venomous monsters are very much preferred, for their spiritual benefits. Emergency physicians also need to be recruits for those Democrats who crash the party and try to handle snakes, even though they are impure. Put that together with the hundreds of barrels of moonshine that have to be distilled, and well, I'm so busy I don't know whether to sh$% or go blind. The location isn't final yet, but somewhere around here, probably. This guy's going to provide some of the entertainment.