The Right Coast

October 18, 2004
Bill O O O'Reilly
By Tom Smith

He is done. He is so done. In fact, if you wanted him to be properly chewy in the middle, you should have taken him out 20 minutes ago. Do you care? I don't care.

As a general rule, when speaking to a female subordinate on the phone, do not discuss nipples. It's sort of an absolute rule. It's not that hard to comply with.

I did a little experiment the other night. I tried watching Bill for a few minutes. It didn't work. He's gone from being obnoxious, overbearing Irish uncle, to obnoxious, overbearing Irish uncle with a dirty sex thing going. Big difference. Big yukky difference. Bye Bill.

I can honestly say I never liked the guy's show, and always found him insufferable. I was sad when Rush's drug problem came to light. The easiest thing in the world is to get addicted to pain pills after a serious, invasive surgery. Then to get in the sights of some ambitious DA. Rush did not deserve that. Marriage down the tubes too. But big bad Bill. It is not that difficult to avoid calling your female subordinates to fill them in on your latest sexual fantasies. I mean, get a hobby or something. Geez.

Yes, I am assuming he did. That's because I think he did, on the grounds of what I consider reliable, semi-plausible rumors. I think it's too late for him to come clean. He'd have to get a whole new personality. Though maybe that would be a good thing. Anyway, enough time wasted on Mr. O. Gone and soon forgotten.