The Right Coast

August 22, 2004
Moments from family life
By Tom Smith

DAD: Patrick, don't pick through the bacon!
PATRICK: I'm looking for the good pieces!
* * *
DAD: Where do you want to go to lunch?
LUKE: Let's go to McDonald's. You can have five Big Macs wrapped in lettuce and really lose some weight!
* * *
WILLIAM: Rrrrrrrrrrr! Arrrrghhhhhhhh!
DAD: Luke, stop sitting on William's head!
LUKE: He said I could!
* * *
DAD walks into TGIF's with three boys, and one male infant, aged 10 months.
WAITRESS: Would you like a menu for the baby?
DAD: No, I'll just order for him.
* * *
LADY at TGIF's: Your boys are very well behaved. You should be proud of them.
DAD: Thank you.
[LADY leaves]
PATRICK: She obviously doesn't know about the Taser.