The Right Coast

July 07, 2004
Just another post about how the New York Times sucks
By Tom Smith

Speaking of surfing and magazines, the Times Sunday magazine has managed to produce the silliest photo spread on surfing I have ever seen, not that I follow this sort of thing closely. Check this out. Go to the slideshow under the "Surfing Gaugin" article (which ain't much -- the photos were the thing in the hardcopy). Some pasty-faced doughboy in Manhattan figured it would be artistic to pose surfers in a gloomy studio in their casual duds. The effect is odd and slightly depressing, not to mention stupid. What is the point? If you take surfers out of the sun, they look like people who spend a lot of time in the sun, who are not in the sun at the moment? Maybe the photos are supposed to be allusions to the paintings of Gaugin, a French painter, etc. etc., who cares, I know I don't.

Then there is the Times brave, bold reporting on sex toys in the Mid-West. The Times is just so disgusting. The point of the article is that people in the mid-West (the "red states" -- Republicans are sexually challenged) are fat and really uptight about sex, and like to buy sex toys from travelling sex toy salespersons. This is the Times as National Geographic visiting the natives in the wild flatlands, but with far less cultural sensitivity than NatGeo.

And check this out. It makes me embarrassed to be a man. This guy goes to Costa Rica to big game fish, which is a manly activity, but ends up having a panic attack or something, so has to do it the next day, and then takes his wife (but not very, it seems to me) fishing, when she hooks a really big one, but he can't help because his arm huwts, so she reels it in, after a long ordeal. It's just so sensitive, new well-trained man it makes me want to puke. First, he should have chosen a boat with the right equipment so landing the fish would not have been such an ordeal, then he should have helped out even though his arm hurt. Be a man, for Christ's sake. The theme of I'm-a-weenie-but-boy-is-my-wife-tough just bothers me. Give me Hemingway any day.