The Right Coast

May 26, 2004
We love you just the way you are
By Tom Smith

Vermonters are so cute. They drive those old pickups. They wear those funky L.L. Bean caps. Don't ever change, Vermont. You're beautiful. I know, it can be hard having to buy things from quaint little shops, but we like it that way, it makes you so much more scenic, so rustic. You don't want a Walmart, really, think about it. Maybe just a few suggestions. Some of you are a little, well, too authentic looking, well, ugly. Maybe you wouldn't mind wearing a bag over your head, just during tourist season? You can get some really attractive bags at Starbucks. And some of you are, well, a little too hefty to be strictly scenic. Maybe you could spend more time at your Pilates? Really, we would so appreciate it. You just buy your simple country things at those darling simple country shops, and we'll try to remember to leave bigger tips. How does that sound? Oh, sorry, dear, must go, got a call on the other line.