The Right Coast

May 26, 2004
NY Times flogs dead horse (isn't that torture?)
By Tom Smith

The Army is investigating a number of deaths in custody and cases of beatings. I know it's hard to believe, but sometimes captives get beaten and killed in wars. Rather than let that go on, I think we should just surrender now. We should have done so with the Japanese and the Nazis, but missed our chance. We can correct that now. When I supported this war, I did not realize that we were from an irretrievably corrupt culture that deserved to be destroyed by a bunch of cave-dwelling religious fanatics. But now I know, and I owe that to the New York Times and other organs of enlightenment. To read more about how awful we are, go here. Isn't that a sweet picture of the Iraqi Major General and his grandson? Top general of one of the cruelest regimes in recent history and devoted family man. But where's the puppy? Probably out chewing on the leg of some dissident chained up in the back yard.

It will be an interesting summer. "Before we ask you where in New York the dirty bomb is, we have one question. Do you take cream or sugar?"