The Right Coast

May 23, 2004
I feel special
By Tom Smith

Not only do I have a gmail account (tacsmith at gmail dot com) but I have an invite to spare! (I sent one to my wife. She did not seem particularly impressed.) Apparently some people are desparate to get one, but I don't really see why. Maybe if you are emailing huge files around. Anyway, I feel cool. Just thought I should let you know. I am hopeful its spam filters might work a little better than most. If I get one more pen1s enlargement offer, I think I may go insane. After I received about a thousand of them, one day I clicked through. Fortunately it was not a virus, as some of them are I learned later, and it took me to a site selling powder from Canadian elk antlers. I find it hard to believe than anything from Canada would give me a bigger male organ. Nationalist thinking, but there you are. The ad also quoted a Canadian physician as saying the powder had turned his male patients into "volcanos" of virile energy. I doubt the quotation was authentic. A doctor would never say "a volcano of virile energy." Not exactly scientific. On the other hand, I understand Canadian doctors will do a lot for greenbacks. For some reason this got me thinking about the names they give drugs such as Viagra. Get it? It's Virile plus Niagra, it of the thundering, throbbing power. Subtle. Even better is Cialis, pronounced "See Alice," as in "I wonder if I have time to go see Alice." It's not supposed to work that well. Maybe they should call it Ciamber. There's probably a list of rejected names in a file in EliLilly somewhere. Mancano didn't make the cut, Suenami is out. Spam is such a waste of time.
UPDATE: I don't feel so special anymore. Gmail won't let me on.