Thoughts from
San Diego on Law, Politics, and Culture

 
To the Chargers: Please get lost
By Tom Smith

Here in America's finest city, we have a pathetic professional football team that is threatening to leave for LA or some other burb if the taxpayers won't cough up the dough for a new stadium in which the mostly losing team may be worshipped. I just want to say, go, please. Why are you still here?

San Diego just watched in horror as thousands of homes burned and more than a dozen died, partly because the city and county did not have enough fire trucks, modern radios and helicopters to stop the blaze. We could buy some of those. But, Oh, no! Bad idea! Instead, let's pad the pockets of millionare sports promoters and athletes. Come to think, evacuees did congregate at the stadium. I suppose there is something to be said for having a nice stadium to go to after your house burns down.

But, maybe, just a thought here -- we could spend more money on our struggling public school system. San Diego public schools range from the barely adequate to the dangerous and dysfunctional. And more cuts are on their way from Sacramento. But hey, why not spend the money instead on a new, different concrete monstrosity in Mission Valley, one more in the contemporary style of concrete monstrosity. The old concrete monstrosity does not have the thing every civilized society needs. You guessed it-- skyboxes. How can we hold our heads high as San Diegans when our stadium lacks the plush, private quarters that big wheels need to swill scotch and watch football in comfort? Johnny and Jose can learn to read latter, as long as the local elite doesn't have to watch football in the open air. I mean, the very idea of Chip and Porky not having a high definition plasma monitor on which to watch the Chargers punt, while working hard to add that next 25 points to their total cholesterol, just really makes me sad. Poor Chip. Poor Porky.

Or, if sports is the thing, how about spending more money on sports programs for kids? The are precious few public programs for kids in San Diego wanting to learn how to swim or surf or pay baseball. Sure, this can all be done privately, but if we are determined to spend the public's money, we might, just for novelty's sake, try using it to help people who don't drive Bentleys and fly private jets. What I am trying to say is, Mr. Spanos, why don't you pay for your own f@#$ing stadium?

If we are going into the business of bribing pampered, spoiled, foul-mouthed, excessively tattooed, drug-abusing, and generally bad-example setting professional athletes with the hard-earned money of people who suffer under inadequate police and fire protection, publc schools and other public services, why don't we bribe them to win? If we are going to crawl on our bellies to the Chargers, like peasants groveling up to evil lords, with pennies clutched in our hands, dare we ask that they actually win once in a while. It's humiliating enough to have to bribe people much richer than you are to play football. It is worse that they do it so badly. So, if we are going to buy a football team, why don't we buy another one? Maybe the Cowboys or the Steelers would like to change digs. But to the Chargers, I say, go long, and keep going.
posted by thomas at 11/28/2003 09:23:00 AM