Thoughts from
San Diego on Law, Politics, and Culture

 
Confessions of a Conservative
By Tom Smith

This weekend I spent a fair amount of time listening to Stanley Fish expound his views. Whenever that happens, I realize I really am, deep down, some kind of liberal. Probably the classical kind. But I really, really want the state to be neutral. I really, really think there's a big difference between particle physics and whatever the latest version of creation theory is. My current view is that God created the universe, but when he did, there weren't any fish. But physics is also very different from the latest crack-pot lit crit view as well. I think toleration is swell, necessary and possible. As to other people's religions, I think some are dumb, some are cute, some are impressive, and some I just don't care about. I live with it, and so should you. I do not find this philosophically mysterious. Maybe Fish thinks everyone lives inside their own orthodoxy because he seems unable to get a clue as to what it would be like to believe something other than he does. I don't find it that hard. I read all of Leon Uris's novels in high school and wanted to covert to Judaism. Good thing I didn't since it was scandalous enough when I brought a Jewish girlfriend home from Cornell. So now, I feel like, bring on the liberals.

It's bad enough to realize you're a liberal, albeit of the libertarian kind. Now Brian Leiter makes me think I'm a realist too. You mean all I have to think is that appellate courts resolve issues underdetermined by the law, by referring to other sorts of things, such as political and moral norms, or economic desiderata? Oh dear. I thought everybody thought that. I know the conservative mantra is "enforce the law, don't make it." But I took that to mean, don't make it unless you have to. I do think it is unfair to attribute to most conservatives (or liberals) the idiotic things said by Senators and Persons of Congress. They're in Congress! If contempt of Congress were a thought-crime, then anybody with any sense would be in jail at least half the time. I mean, how does anybody get asked a question going to moral character from Teddy Kennedy, and not say, "Well, at least I didn't drive an innocent girl off a bridge and leave her to drown," or "You'd think someone who looked as much like a manatee as you do wouldn't mind diving into the water." And you could do the same for many of the others on the judiciary committee.

To make a truly profound cultural comparison, I turn to the recent film vehicle for The Rock called The Rundown. This PG-13 adventure flick, perfect for growing boys, features the admirable Rock versus a really wonderfully evil Christopher Walken. The Rock is a formidable martial artist, but refuses to use guns (too violent). In the final showdown, The Rock has to decide whether to pick up two 12 gauges, as they are the only way to save his (sort of) buddy. After an interminable delay, he picks up the guns. The crowd goes wild, or at least is relieved. I feel that way about the Republicans in Congress facing the likes of Chuck Schumer. It's politics, okay? Cancel the seance with James Madison and start fighting. It's like (to quote another hero) Sean Connery in the Untouchables: "They pull a knife, you pull a gun." What are you prepared to do?
posted by thomas at 11/17/2003 10:19:00 AM