Thoughts from
San Diego on Law, Politics, and Culture

 
Most Tedious Pundit of the Year
By Tom Smith

Normally the prize for most tedious pundit of the year goes to some rabid feminist sort advocating reeducation camps for boys who like football, but this year George Will is going to be tough to beat. I just love it when some bow-tie wearing, Eastern weenie conservative who doesn't know Temecula from Tuscany tells us in California how we should govern ourselves.

Professor Will is just outraged by the "odor" of direct democracy in our recent recall. The Framers would not approve! Oh, Pa-leeeeese. A little direct democracy is just what you need when a government has been hijacked by comically corrupt politicians.

But that's not all -- George is afraid our exercise in government, explicitly authorized under the constitution of our state, lends credence to the claims that Bush stole the election. There's a difference, dude. It's called the law, as in the rule of. Our law says we can have a recall, and we did. As to democracy, if you had bothered to come out to California and do some real reporting, instead of curling your toes in your Persian rug in whatever tony DC suburb you abide in, you would have seen just how inspirational democracy can be. There was no circus. You should not believe what you read in the Washington Post. Instead, in one of the highest turnouts in California history, ordinary people stood up to say, enough is enough. And our constitution, which is, thank God, a lot clearer than Bush v. Gore, gave its express blessing to the whole exercise.

Will regurgitates the usual baloney about the whole recall effort being the product of a few millionaires conspiring together, led by Congressman Issa. Here's the news, George. Two million bucks is chump change in California politics, which you would know if you lived here. Lt. Gov. Bustamante raised twice that in little more than a week from Indian Casinos and spent it in even less time. The reason why the recall was a landslide was because of the thousands of people who worked on it and the millions of people who followed it by newspaper, talk radio and the internet. News flash for George: It ain't the 18th century out here, and we don't wear powdered wigs or knee socks either.

Speaking of bad smells, Will's screed just reeks with contempt for voters, for democracy and for everybody who isn't the kind of conservative who carried a briefcase in junior high. Well, he's full of it. I have never been as proud to live in a democracy as when I was waiting in the orderly line to cast my vote last Tuesday. No anger, not even any talking. It was quiet, like people were in church. These were ordinary people, and a lot of them, who took their duties seriously, who were taking time off from working for a living (and not by telling other people how to govern themselves) to be citizens. Will needs a little more Ron and a lot less Nancy Reagan in his conservatism. Maybe somebody should buy him a horse (but, please, with a Western saddle!).

Will is upset that the recall will hurt Bush in California. Oh boo hoo. I guess I missed the part where he explained why we have to run state government as an adjunct to the reelect Bush campaign. We have serious problems out here that need to be addressed now. If Bush wants Californians to vote for him, he should come out here and convince us. That's how it works in democracies, George. You have to get out of the imperial capitol every so often.

George is just outraged that we voted for Arnold in spite of his groping and even though he is pro-choice and pro-gay. This Will dude is clueless. I disapprove of Arnie's Id, but I disapprove more of a crook in office. And George, your precious framers were some of horniest people in history. Good lord, Ben Franklin's musings on older women are unfit for mixed company, Tom Jefferson's bastards could probably populate an independent state, and who knows what the rest of them were up to. As to Clinton, he was plausibly accused of rape and certainly perjured himself. A big difference. On abortion and gay rights, well, welcome to California. I may disagree with them, but the majority of people out here think abortion should be legal, and besides, that decision was taken out of our hands by the geniuses in Washington a long time ago. As to gay rights, well, what about it? I know I have some gay friends, I'd bet I have some gay students, and some of the best priests in my (Catholic) church, though celibate, are probably inclined that way. So what? Anybody who lives in a big city in California just runs up against good, gay people every day. Call it diversity, or democracy, and frankly, I could care less whether James Madison would like it or not. I have come around on this issue, but as far as I'm concerned, a lot of the opposition to gay rights is just hate, and the sooner Republicans get over it, the better. Will accuses us of compromising our principles just to win an election. Uh, no, George. It's more that we think some of your principles suck.

I have some advice for Will, since he seems so full of wisdom for us Californians. Lose the bow tie. Get some Lasik, dude, and lose the nerd glasses. Eat some protein and go to the gym. Get off your high horse. Check back in a year and see whether we have sorted a few things out with a new governor. We like to surprise people.
posted by thomas at 10/09/2003 09:35:00 AM