The Right Coast

January 04, 2006
 
Looking for God's signature
By Tom Smith

A couple of astronomers are looking for a message in the cosmic background radiation. Since CBR is the same whereever you look at it from, and whatever species you are, they figure that's where whoever (might have) created the universe would put it. (I also have a theory. It is that these guys have tenure.) Other than suggesting the first bits would be to help decode the rest, they don't have much to say about what might be in the message. As physical scientists, they of course expect something mathematical. Other possibilities

SOLD AS IS, WITH ALL FAULTS, or

GLURG HIGH SCHOOL SCIENCE FAIR, 3RD PLACE WINNER, or

DO NOT DISTURB, or

CREATED 6000 BC BY JEHOVAH, REALLY, NOW GET BACK TO WORK YOU DOPES, or

HOW AM I DOING? CALL 1-800-GOD-LINE, or

MY NAME IS CHIEF UMBOONGO BOONGO, CHAIRMAN OF THE NIGERIAN BANK OF NIROBI AND I GREET YOU AND SEEK HELP FOR THIS MOST TRUSTING BUSINESS PROPOSITION