The Right Coast |
|
Thoughts from San Diego on Law, Politics, and Culture
Right Coasters
Gail Heriot Saikrishna Prakash Michael Rappaport Maimon Schwarzschild Thomas Smith Christopher Wonnell Email Us Gail Heriot Saikrishna Prakash Michael Rappaport Maimon Schwarzschild Thomas Smith Christopher Wonnell Links Andrew Sullivan Atlantic Blog The Buck Stops Here Corporate Law Blog Crescat Sententia Crooked Timber Curmudgeonly Clerk Daniel Drezner En Banc EveTushnet.Com FreeSpace How Appealing Instapundit Law and Econ Blog Little Green Footballs Legal Theory Blog The Leiter Reports Marginal Revolution Overlawyered Pejmanesque ProfBainbridge.Com Punishment Theory Rasmusen Weblog SFA Politics & Relig Southern Appeal SpoonsExperience USS Clueless The Volokh Conspiracy The Yin Blog Archives The Bear Flag League Aaron's Rantblog (LA) Absinthe & Cookies Accidental Jedi (Fres) Angry Clam (LA) Baldilocks BlogoSFERICS (Expat) BoifromTroy (LA) CalBlog (Los Angeles) California Republic Citizen Smash(SD) Cobb (Los Angeles) Daily Pundit (SF) Dale Franks e-Claire(Northern CA) Fresh Potatoes(Orang) Infinite Monkeys The Interocitor (LA) The Irish Lass (Sacra) Left Coast Conserv. Lex Communis (Fres) Master of None (LA) Miller's Time (Sac) Molly's Musings (SD) Mulatto Boy (LA) Howard Owens (Vent) Pathetic Earthlings) Patio Pundit Patterico's Pontifications(LA) PrestoPundit (Orange) QandO Right on the Left Beach Shark Blog (Expat) Slings and Arrows (SD) So. Cal Law Blog (LA) Tone Cluster Window Manager Xrlq (Orange) |
April 07, 2004
The Kerry Messages By Tom Smith A not particularly reliable source emailed me this exchange of instant messages between, apparently, John Kerry and a person identified only as "Father Bob," who seems to be a Catholic priest sympathetic to the Kerry campaign. I cannot attest to the authenticity of the what follows . . . JK: So is it Paul John or John Paul? FB: John-Paul JK: What's with the two names?? FB: It's the names of the last two Popes, well, second to last two popes put together . . . JK: But I thought that was Pius, you know, the CCCIII or XXX, the 23rd; trouble with those roman numerals ;-) FB: It was JOHN XXIII, then Paul VI, then John Paul I, THEN John Paul II JK: There were TWO John-Pauls??? FB: You know, the first one died after a few weeks JK: Geez! Was he poisoned or something? FB: Don't go there, John. Now what do you know about catholic issues? JK: I know everything. Let's see, abortion is bad, but birth control is OK . . . FB: John, artificial birth control is forbidden by the Church JK: No! You're kidding right? What do you mean artificial? FB: The pill, diaphrams, condoms JK: You can't even use a bag? FB: John, don't say "bag," it makes you sound too familiar JK: OK, OK, condom. Holy shit. FB: You know about divorce? JK: Sure, it used to be forbidden, but now it's OK in many cases, I think FB: No, John. Church doctrine still does not permit divorce JK: But Teddy said FB: Just forget anything Teddy has told you about it, OK? JK: But he had I don't know ten kids or something and he still FB: Just forget him. He was a special case. Divorce is out JK: Even if you have a pre-nup? FB: Pre-nups aren't really very Catholic, John. I wouldn't mention your pre-nup if you can help it. Maybe you should tell THK to do the same. JK: Maybe you should tell her. FB: OK, fine. Now you tell me what you think of when I say, let's see, "culture of life" JK: Wasn't that a gay rock group? FB: That was Culture Club. This is "culture of life." JK: Oh I know, George Bush, he says that, right? FB: He got it from John-Paul JK: The first or the second? FB: The second. The first John Paul didn't have time to say anything JK: OK. So what does it mean? FB: It means anti-abortion, anti-euthanasia, anti-war, anti-violence JK: What does that have to do with life? FB: You know, the fetus is alive, the old person is alive JK: I don't follow you FB: It's wrong to kill, and there's too much disrespect for life in modern culture JK: OK, fine. That reminds me. Did you know I fought in Vietnam? FB: I know. Maybe you could say something like it taught you the value of life JK: I don't know about saying 'life' it sounds a lot like 'pro-life' which I absolutely cant say FB: The value of compassion then. Compassion is always good JK: Fine. Compassion. What else? FB: That reminds me. What do you think of the movie The Passion? JK: Is that the one with the cheerleaders in the carwash? FB: No, no. The Passion of the Christ. You know. JK: I think I remember something about that from school. Is that a Catholic thing too? FB: Yes. If anybody asks about a movie with Passion in the title, just say you haven't seen it, and with your schedule you don't know when you'll get the chance. That's fine. OK. Easter. What does Easter mean to you? JK: Uh . . . Bunnies? Spring skiing? FB: No, John. If anyone asks about Easter, say it is a time of new life, renewal of life, victory over death. That's all true, vaguely Catholic and shouldn't offend anyone. JK: I told you. I dont want to say "life" FB: OK. Hope. Hope is always good. Good Democratic word. New hope. Say that. JK: OK. I think I'm good. I knew I was a Catholic. FB: Born and bred, John. Born and bred. |