The Right Coast

April 02, 2004
International criminal jurisprudence
By Tom Smith

Bad guy: OK! OK! I cut him, OK? Just stop! Just stop!

Cop: Now, just a little bit more. We just have to go over choice of law for felonies that are not a violation of customary international law but are subject to bilateral treaty obligations. Mac, stop him from hitting his head against the floor.

Bad guy: I said! I cut him, OK? Just please stop it! O Mother!

Cop: In the event you have been arrested for violation of local criminal law, you have the right to consult with a consular official, but your representation may not be paid for pursuant to your constitutional right to counsel, unless the predicate acts of the offense are also . . . Mac, he's hurting himself, will you please restrain him.

Bad guy: Please . . . just stop . . . I will sign anything . . . Just stop with the . . . I'm not a lawyer, OK? I cut him! I cut him! Just stop!

Cop: A little patience, sir. There are just four key points we need to review regarding the Vienna Treaty . . .

Bad guy: Arrrrgghhhhhh! Arrrrgggghhhhh!